Arrival of the Birds
by SilenceintheLibrary13
Summary: Set between seasons 3 and 4. Maura is giving up a kidney for Cailin, but is left with a feeling of loss as she realizes her sacrifice isn't going to be enough to make her biological family love her. But with Jane caring for her during her recovery, she slowly realizes the love she needs is already in her life. Slow-burn Rizzles.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi all! Sorry it's been a while, but I've been really busy writing and editing my latest book, which is now for sale (head to my profile if you're curious)! Now that I have time to work on fanfic, I have a few stories in mind, starting with this one! If you want to stay updated, just register for an account and put me on follow!  
I'm so excited to have another story to share! Please enjoy!**

Chapter 1

Maura stepped out of the hospital and took a deep breath in the frosty air. She was doing the right thing. It was normal to be scared, but it was definitely the right thing.

She saw a robin land in a tree outside the hospital entrance. She looked at it with interest, realizing she hadn't seen a robin all winter. Suddenly the bird took off, joining a flock of birds departing from a larger tree. She watched them go, wondering what it would be like to just fly over the city, leaving everything behind, no one asking her to give up any part of herself. Birds probably never felt the way she was feeling now – like she had to sacrifice something of herself as payment, as an apology, as a way of erasing the burden of her existence. It was the right thing to do. She would save someone, and they would be glad she existed, and they would all go their separate ways. She wouldn't feel bad anymore. She would just feel happy that she saved someone, that she gave someone what she herself couldn't have.

Just like that, the flock of robins was gone. Fleeting, just like everything else in life. It was naïve to expect any kind of permanence. Even your body was constantly changing, never really your own.

There were just a few things she had control over. One of them was her house, which she was relieved to be heading to now, after spending an entire day at the hospital undergoing a battery of tests to determine if she was healthy enough, physically and mentally, to be a kidney donor. They also had to confirm that she was a match for Cailin, as her own personal DNA testing was not sufficient for the transplant team.

She couldn't help smiling when she saw Jane's car in front of her house. Jane was the most important constant in her life, the only person she could really count on. A year ago she had truly believed she'd lost her, lost the only person she'd ever had who truly loved her for who she was. She had believed Jane would always be on her side, had not even been surprised that Jane planned on making no move to get Paddy arrested until Maura was ready to deal with it. Maura's feelings towards Paddy were complicated, to say the least. Years after losing her trust in her adoptive father, she desperately missed having that kind of relationship in her life, and here was a father who seemed to love her unconditionally, who would risk his life to protect her. Her emotions ran so high that it took time for her usual logic to kick in, to help her accept that he wasn't a good person and couldn't be part of her life. He was a man who both intrigued and frightened her. He was someone who kept her safe, and yet, he was often the reason she was in danger. She didn't know how to feel, but she knew Jane would give her time to sort it out.

Until she didn't. Maura still remembered the unexpected betrayal she felt when Jane shot Paddy, the way her heart shattered not so much from the threat to Paddy's life, but from the seeming indifference from Jane. She could see afterwards that Jane knew how much this had hurt Maura, and that made it even worse. It meant Maura wasn't Jane's top priority after all. The job was Jane's top priority, just as it had been before she met Maura. She had never cared about Maura as much as Maura cared about her, a lesson Maura had learned over and over in her life with everyone she got close to.

Of course, it had only taken a matter of hours for Maura to realize Jane hadn't had a choice, but by then she'd said horrible things to Jane, and Jane was never someone who was quick to forgive. Every time they saw each other, Jane was still angry, and it made Maura angry too. How could Jane just throw away their friendship like this? Had it meant nothing to her?

It was the worst feeling in the world, thinking the best thing to ever happen in her life was over.

But over time she had come to understand Jane's point of view, of course, and that Jane was thinking almost the same thing she was. She'd thought Maura had enough trust in her to know that she wouldn't have done what she did unless she had to, and she felt betrayed when Maura accused her of shooting someone without cause. She had also proven once again that she would do anything for Maura, even die for her if she had to, or die with her if she couldn't save her, as had nearly been the case at that yoga retreat.

And now Jane was back, the trust between them restored, and they hadn't had even a small fight since the big one. Maura wasn't sure she could ever bring herself to be truly angry with Jane again.

She found the detective lounging on her couch, reading the newspaper just like she lived there. "Hey," she said. "So how did it go? Are you healthy enough to be a kidney donor?"

Maura lifted Jane's feet and sat down with them in her lap, rubbing them the way she knew Jane liked. "I still have to wait for the test results, and I don't know what will go in the psychologist's report, but the physical went well."

"Why did you have to see a psychologist? They gotta make sure you're not crazy?"

"No, they just want to make sure I'm donating a kidney for the right reasons."

"And what did you tell them?"

Maura stopped rubbing Jane's feet. "Do you think I'm doing it for the wrong reasons?"

"Sweetie, I don't even know what the right reasons would be. It's hard for me to even imagine doing something like this for someone I barely know. I don't know which reasons count as right or wrong. I'm just curious to know what reasons you gave."

Maura resumed rubbing Jane's feet. "I told them I thought it was unfair for an 18-year-old girl to be stuck on dialysis when she should be enjoying life, and I wanted to change that for her. And that Hope already lost one daughter, and I didn't want her to have to lose the other one."

"Maura," said Jane, her eyes tender. "You're still alive and well, and she knows that now."

"I'm lost to her," insisted Maura. "She never got to bond with me when I was a baby, and I'll never feel like a daughter to her now. Cailin is her real daughter. She's the one who matters."

"You're the one who matters to me." Jane sat up, pulling her feet from Maura's lap. "You didn't know Hope a year ago, but look how far you're willing to go for her now. If she could matter that much to you, you should matter at least that much to her."

Maura blinked back tears. "But I don't."

There was a glint in Jane's eyes, and for a moment she looked like she wanted to shoot someone. "You don't owe them anything. You don't have to do this. Cailin can keep doing dialysis and get a kidney from someone who dies in a car accident or something, the same way she'd get a new heart or liver if she needed one. You couldn't help her with that."

"But I _can_ give her a new kidney. I just hope I'm not doing it for selfish reasons."

Jane gaped at her. "How do you selfishly give someone your kidney?"

"Maybe it's just because I don't want them to be mad at me anymore."

"For existing?"

"In a way, all of this is my fault. It was my death that caused Hope to devote her life to service abroad, and that's how Cailin got the kidney infection. Plus Cailin had to grow up in a dead baby's shadow, so Hope was never quite the mother to her she should have been."

Jane threw her hands up in frustration. "Maura, you're not dead!"

"They thought I was for 36 years! That's what matters." She looked down, twisting her hands. "Anyway, I wasn't clear on whether it was my death Hope felt guilty about, or my birth."

Jane put her hand on Maura's shoulder. "If she feels guilty about bringing you into the world, she doesn't deserve to be happy."

A tear slipped down Maura's face. "I would never forgive myself if I didn't do this. There's no guarantee she would find another donor in time. She's my only living biological sibling, and she may not want anything to do with me, but I just want to give this to her. It's what a good big sister would do. I've never had the chance to be that before, and I always wanted to."

Jane wrapped her into a hug. "This is why you amaze me."

Maura allowed herself a few tears, but then she pulled herself together. This wasn't all about her. Other people were going through things as well. "Are you worried about Casey?"

Jane stiffened and pulled back. "Casey? Why would you ask about him?"

"He's having surgery soon."

"As are you. You're the one I'm worried about right now."

"His surgery is far more serious and life-threatening than mine."

"Yes, but he made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me while he goes through it. I hope the surgery makes him better, of course, but he doesn't want to burden me, so I'm putting it out of my mind. You, on the other hand, are a perfectly healthy person who is about to be made _un_ healthy for a while because doctors are going to rip a fully-functioning vital organ from your body, and I will be here to watch you go from running around doing yoga and shit to suddenly being badly injured and having half your kidney function until your remaining kidney gets bigger and learns to do the work of two, and then for the rest of your life I have to make sure no one hits you or does anything that could hurt you because that big kidney is going to be really vulnerable to injury. I read the damn pamphlet."

Her voice rose and became almost angry as the words came out, and Maura realized just how concerned she was. "Jane, they're not _ripping_ my kidney out," she explained soothingly. "Now they remove it by doing a laparoscopy, which means just a few small incisions. It's a minimally invasive procedure."

"Whatever, it's still going to hurt. And you're a way bigger part of my life than Casey is. I'm not even in a relationship with him. He's my high school crush that I kinda went on a few dates with, and I thought it would go farther, but it hasn't yet. Who knows if it ever will. He's not the love of my life or anything, not like…" Her voice trailed off.

Maura looked at her. "Not like who?"

"Sorry, you don't want me to bring it up."

"Bring what up?"

"Ian. The love of your life."

"Oh." Maura laughed. "He's not the love of my life."

"You said he was…"

"He was, at one time. I told him not to come back anymore."

"You never told me that."

"We weren't talking at the time. He sent me a text message, and I told him I wanted to move on. He said he understood."

"Wow. How do you feel?"

"Like no one's ever going to love me again." She gave a nervous little laugh. "I didn't at first. I thought I was opening myself up for love. But now…after Dennis…"

"Do not let that fucker influence how you feel about yourself. Of course someone will love you. It just takes time to find a guy who's worthy of you, I mean you're not just some bimbo, you're Maura Isles."

Maura smiled slightly. She didn't want to think about it right now. "I am going to need someone to stay with me for a few days after I get home from the hospital."

Jane nodded. "Let me know when you get it scheduled, and I'll take a week or so off work."

"I shouldn't need you for a whole week."

"How long will you be off work?"

"Four to six weeks."

Jane cringed. "Okay, I'll stay here at least a week. I know you like your independence, but I don't want you doing too much too soon."

One of the things Maura didn't like about Casey was the way he seemed to think he knew what was best for Jane. He told Jane he didn't want her there while he recovered from surgery for her own good, even though she said she wanted to be there. It wasn't fair at all. So if Jane wanted to take care of Maura after surgery, then Maura was going to let her. It would make them both feel better.

"Okay," she said. "I'll let you know as soon as I have the date so you can put in for your time off."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"You ready to go?" Jane asked.

Maura turned from the window. "What's that?"

Jane gave her an incredulous look. "You know, the hospital? So you can have your kidney taken out?"

"Oh, I'm ready," said Maura. "I'm sorry, I got distracted. There's a red-winged blackbird in the tree outside. It's the first one I've seen this year." She turned back to the window, but the bird had gone.

"Fascinating. Well whenever you're done birdwatching, Ms. Audubon, I'm ready to drive you to the hospital for the surgery you don't need."

"I'm just happy the birds are coming back," said Maura, going for her coat. "It means spring is almost here! I love it when they're all back, and I can hear them sing all day."

"I just want to be able to go outside without needing twenty layers on," said Jane, picking up Maura's suitcase and a bag Maura didn't recognize.

"What's the other bag?" Maura asked her as they walked towards the door.

"That's my stuff. You know, change of clothes, toothbrush, magazines, crossword puzzles."

"For the hospital?"

"No, for the five-star resort you're taking me to. Why do you look so surprised? You're gonna be there for at least two days, and you're going to be either sleeping or drugged out on pain meds most of the time, so I'm not exactly counting on your stimulating conversation to keep me entertained."

"But I'm the one who has to stay in the hospital for two days, not you."

"I'm your caretaker. What part of this are you having trouble understanding? I'm going to be there with you the whole time."

"I just thought—"

"That I was gonna leave you there alone? Come on, Maura. I wouldn't do that to you."

 _Everyone else I've ever known would have_ , Maura thought, wondering how she had found someone like Jane. After taking one last longing look at her house, Maura went outside and got into Jane's car. Jane put their bags in the trunk and began the short drive to Massachusetts General.

As they drove, Maura saw an entire flock of red-winged blackbirds take off from a tree. At first they flew in the same direction the car was heading in, but then all at once they changed direction, and then they were gone. Maura watched the spot where they had last been as if they might still come back, feeling a pang in her heart. Maura loved spring, she looked forward to it every year, but her recovery from this surgery could take up to two months. She was going to spend the best part of spring, when everything was just starting to bloom, in pain and unable to participate in many of her usual activities. Normally she looked forward to the sun rising earlier so she could run through the streets of Boston, inhaling the sweet scent of flowers and watching the progress of the trees with Jane by her side. This year she would miss that. Why was she doing this to herself?

Jane was abnormally quiet on the drive to the hospital. Maura was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she didn't notice at first, but her attention went back to Jane when they pulled into the dim parking garage and Jane drove around and around looking for a spot without grumbling about how hard it was to find a spot. Finally she pulled into an empty space, then turned to Maura suddenly.

"You know you don't have to do this, right?" she blurted out. "You really don't have to. She can get a kidney some other way. You're a perfectly healthy person. You shouldn't be having surgery that makes you _un_ healthy."

"It's only temporary."

"I just don't like the thought of people cutting you open and taking out a vital organ that you're still using. I feel like I should stop them the way I would stop anyone else who was hurting you, but you're the one telling them to do it." Jane blinked rapidly like she was fighting back tears.

"Jane." Maura reached for her friend's hand and squeezed it. "I know this is hard, but it's something I want to do, okay? I've already made up my mind. The only thing I need you to do is support me."

Jane nodded. "I can do that. So, you ready to go in?"

"As ready as I'm ever going to be." Maura opened the car door and got out, going around to the trunk for her suitcase.

"You nervous?" Jane asked, popping the trunk open.

"A little. I've never had surgery before, well I had the fasciotomy you performed on me in the woods, but I've never had surgery in a hospital before, other than oral surgery to have my wisdom teeth removed, and I just had a local anesthetic for that."

Jane made a face. "You were awake when they pulled your wisdom teeth?"

"I was very interested in the process. The oral surgeon let me hold a mirror and look inside my mouth a few times during the procedure."

"You are so weird." Jane grabbed her bag and Maura's suitcase.

"I can take that. I haven't been operated on yet."

"Fine." Jane handed the suitcase over. "I just feel like I need to do _something_ for you."

"You're doing everything just by being here."

After Maura checked in, they went to a waiting room, where they sat in silence. She could tell Jane was a nervous wreck, though, because she wouldn't stop tapping her foot. Maura felt bad, and she wished there was something she could do to make Jane feel better. She'd known from the beginning that Jane didn't want her to do this, but it had never crossed her mind that it would bother her this much. She wondered if the risks associated with surgery were what she was worried about, or if she really felt Cailin didn't deserve her kidney. She was afraid to ask for fear it would be the latter. All the same, she felt it best not to mention the steps she'd taken to prepare for the worst-case scenario. She had put papers on file with the hospital giving Jane power of attorney in case something went horribly wrong. Jane knew about that. What Jane did not know was that she'd also updated her will to ensure that if she died, her house, car, and most of her money and possessions would all belong to Jane.

Maura had to go back by herself to prep for the surgery, but once she had changed into her gown, gotten her IV started, and answered some questions, they let Jane come back and sit with her for a while. Jane turned on the little TV by the bed and started flipping through the channels, finally settling on a crime drama. Maura reached out her hand, and Jane took it.

"I took two weeks off," Jane said suddenly. "I can take more if you need me to."

"Jane, I don't even need you to take that much. The hospital staff can take care of me while I'm here, and then I'll only need help around the house for a week at the most when I go home."

"I don't want to hear it. You made me your caretaker, and I'm taking care of you. End of story." She looked down at Maura's hand, stroking her fingers lightly with her thumb. "My memories of being in the hospital after I shot myself are pretty fuzzy, but I do remember you being there almost every time I opened my eyes. I remember you sleeping in a chair. It looked really uncomfortable."

"That was different. You almost died."

"It's not as different as you think."

Maura studied her blanket. "Is it because of Casey? You can't be there for his surgery, so you want to be here for mine?"

"What? No! Why is it so hard for you to understand that I'm here for _you_ , because I care about _you_? It has nothing to do with anyone else."

Maura blinked back tears. "Because I'm not used to it. I'm not used to anyone caring this much about me."

"Well, get used to it, because I'm not going anywhere."

Maura closed her eyes and squeezed Jane's hand, hoping it was true but not really daring to believe it. Everyone left, or became distant, sooner or later. Jane had stuck around longer than anyone else, that was true, but that just meant it was going to hurt that much more when she finally tired of Maura. But Maura would hang on as long as she could. Jane would have to be the one to let go, when the time came.

Except right now, the surgical team was coming to take Maura away. They put the rails up on Maura's bed and began to wheel her out.

"I'll see you soon!" Jane promised as Maura's fingers were pulled from her grasp. Just before they took her through the doors, she looked back and saw the fear in Jane's eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Maura's first awareness was of pain, overwhelming pain. She felt like she had been stabbed, and she thought of the big knife Dennis Rockmond had held against her throat. Had someone hurt her? She needed Jane, Jane was always there when someone tried to hurt her, she would make it stop.

"Jane!" she heard a voice calling. It sounded like her voice, but far away. " _JANE!_ "

"Who's Jane?" she heard another faraway voice muttering.

"It's her caretaker, she's out in the waiting room," said a second unfamiliar voice. "Maura, it's okay," it said, sounding a little closer. "The surgery went well. Jane will come to see you when you're in recovery."

The surgery. That was why she was in so much pain. She hadn't expected it to be this bad, though. Feeling reassured that she was not under attack, she allowed herself to sink back into oblivion.

When she came to again, she heard a calm voice saying, "Maura? It's time to wake up. There's someone here to see you."

She opened her eyes and saw Jane approaching her bedside, her brown eyes filled with concern.

"Jane," Maura said softly, her voice coming out hoarse.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Jane said, taking her hand.

"Not good," Maura said honestly.

"Here." The nurse put something in Maura's hand. "You're connected to a morphine drip. If the pain gets too bad, you can just push this button."

Maura touched her abdomen with her other hand and began feeling around for incisions.

"Maura, don't do that," Jane said in alarm.

"You have four incisions, three little ones and a bigger one where your kidney came out," the nurse said helpfully. "Everything went well. You have a urinary catheter, as expected, as well as your IV port. We've also got some compression devices on your legs to help prevent blood clots, but you still need to get up and about as soon as you possibly can."

Maura looked towards Jane. "What time is it?"

Jane gave her an incredulous look. "It's about 4:30. Why, do you have a date?"

"You were in surgery for not quite four hours," the nurse said.

"Did you eat lunch?" Maura asked Jane.

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Really? You just had your kidney yanked out, you haven't eaten anything all day, and you want to know if I had lunch?"

"Did you?"

Jane sighed. "Yes, after they wheeled you back I went over to Finagle a Bagel and got a sandwich. You happy?"

"No, my shoulder hurts," mumbled Maura.

"I can bring you a heating pad," the nurse said. "Is there anything else you would like? Some ice chips?"

"Yes, please," said Maura.

"Why does your shoulder hurt?" Jane asked when the nurse had left.

"From the gas that's still trapped in there. They have to inflate you for a laparoscopy, but some of the gas doesn't come back out, and it drifts up and hurts your shoulder." Maura knew her explanation was coming out garbled, but she was too groggy to do any better.

"Wow, that sucks," said Jane. "Does it hurt where they cut you open?"

"Yes, and my throat. From the tube they put down."

Jane made a face. "I really don't remember my surgery at all."

"You were unconscious for days." Maura squeezed her hand. "But you're okay now."

"Yeah, I'm better than ever." The nurse returned with a heating pad for Maura, giving a cup of ice chips to Jane. Jane began feeding them to Maura, one at a time, soothing her aching throat. As Maura became more alert, they decided it was time to move her to the room where she would be staying.

"Well you have a nice view of the river," Jane said when they got to her room. "And a couch! This is a really nice hospital room. It's like a hotel room almost."

"I booked one of the luxury rooms," Maura said drowsily. She couldn't take it anymore. She was going to have to use the morphine button. She pushed it slowly, carefully, and waited for the drug to take effect.

"I didn't know they _had_ luxury hospital rooms."

"I tried to get you moved to one after you were shot, but your father wouldn't hear of it," Maura said. "Your parents seemed stressed, and I didn't want to rock the boat, so I let it go."

"Hey, the couch turns into a bed! Sweet, I thought I was going to be sleeping in a chair tonight." Jane started looking through cabinets. "They even have extra pillows and blankets! I'm actually going to be comfortable!"

"Of course you are, I wouldn't let you be uncomfortable." The drug finally started to kick in, and Maura felt some relief from the pain, as well as some wooziness. She closed her eyes for a minute, then looked up to see Jane gazing down at her. She had such a pretty face, Maura thought, especially framed by that wild mane of hair. She could have been a model. "Jane," she said softly. "You look so beautiful."

Jane chuckled. "Thanks. You don't look half bad yourself."

"I'm so glad you're here." Maura grasped her hand again.

"You know I wouldn't be anywhere else."

Maura pondered that. Was that really true? Two people Jane cared about were having surgery around the same time, one far more serious than the other. Was Maura really the one Jane wanted to be with, or was it just that she didn't have a choice, since Casey had told her he didn't want her involved?

"Are you thinking about Casey's surgery?" she asked.

"Apparently not as much as you are. Why do you keep asking? Are _you_ secretly in love with Casey?"

"No, I don't even like him."

"You don't?"

"No." Maura knew she'd been holding in her feelings about Casey for a reason, but she couldn't remember what the reason was just now. "He doesn't deserve you."

"You said that once, but that was because we didn't know why he wasn't talking to me. I thought you didn't feel that way anymore."

"No, I still do. He's being a jerk to push you away. Why does he think he needs to protect you? It feels like he wants you to be some kind of damsel in distress. He doesn't love you for who you are."

Jane stared at her. "Is this the drugs talking, or have you been thinking this all along?"

Maura thought about that. "The medication is lowering my inhibitions."

"So you always thought this."

"I want you to do what makes you happy, but he doesn't deserve you. If he really loved you, then you would be the person he most wants at his side when he's vulnerable. If he can't let you see him like that, then his pride is stronger than his feelings for you."

"Okay then. Now that you've got that off your chest, can we focus on you getting well?"

"Yes. Can you help me get out of bed?"

"Whoa, isn't it a bit early for that?"

"I just want to look at the window. I'm supposed to get up as soon as I possibly can. It reduces the risk of blood clots, or pneumonia."

"Okay, I can help you up." Jane pulled the covers back, unfastened the intermittent compression devices on Maura's legs, and raised the bed into a sitting position. Suddenly being upright made the shoulder pain increase again, and Maura cried out. "Are you okay?" Jane asked her.

"I'm okay." Maura slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed, and Jane slipped an arm around her, helping her into a standing position.

"Okay, you ready?" Jane said.

"I'm ready." And slowly, very slowly, she made her way to the window, Jane supporting her the whole way.

"I guess you should take in the view. You're paying for it," Jane reasoned.

Maura gazed out at the cars driving down below, Lederman Park with its two empty baseball fields, the sparkling Charles River, Longfellow Bridge, the row of buildings on the other side of the river. She saw a little flash of blue down below and craned her neck, trying to get a better look, but it was gone.

"What are you looking at?" Jane asked her.

"I think I saw a kingfisher flying by down below, but it's gone now."

"Seriously, what is it with you and birds lately?"

"I just like to see them coming back for the spring. It makes me feel hopeful." Exhausted, Maura slowly sank down onto the couch beside the window. "I wonder how Cailin's surgery is going."

"I'm sure it's going great, I mean she's getting a good kidney. You're the healthiest person I know. It has to be like the Louis Vuitton of kidneys."

"My doctor says she's given permission for her hospital to contact mine and give a report on her condition after the surgery, but I'm not expecting to hear before tomorrow."

"Maybe Hope will call you tonight."

"No, I told her not to contact me. I can tell she doesn't want me in her life, and I don't want her to feel obligated to be nice to me just because I gave her daughter a kidney."

"Yeah, what a silly reason to be nice to someone." Jane took her phone out of her pocket. "Meanwhile, my mother will not stop texting me to ask if you're okay."

Maura forced a smile. "So tell her I am."

"I told her you were out of surgery, but still groggy, and that you've already said you don't want visitors until tomorrow. Now she wants to know if you're any less groggy, and if you still don't want visitors, and if you got the – oh, never mind."

Just then, there was a knock at the door, and a perky-looking woman walked in with a bunch of shiny mylar balloons bearing messages like "get well soon!" and "bee well!" The latter had a smiling bee next to it, and Snoopy was featured on another balloon encouraging her to get some "TBC (Tender Beagle Care)."

"Special delivery for you!" said the perky woman. "I think they're from your mom!"

Maura's heart lifted as she took the card off the balloons.

"Hey, maybe Hope decided to contact you after all," said Jane. "I knew she would, I mean whatever you told her, she'd be a total bitch not to thank you for saving her other daughter's life. I know she said some bitchy things to you, but that would be extreme. You made a huge sacrifice for her…" She trailed off, looking at Maura's face. "They're not from Hope, are they?"

Maura shook her head. "They're from _your_ mother."

"Oh. She said she'd sent something, but she didn't say what."

"Tell her thank you, and I'm a little less groggy but I still don't want anyone here tonight except you."

"I'll tell her."

Maura watched her friend typing on her phone. "Have you heard from anyone else? I gave your number to my parents in case they wanted to check on me."

"Do they know your surgery was today?"

"Yes."

"They haven't called, but I can call them."

"No, it's okay, I'm sure they're busy." Maura leaned her head against Jane, closing her eyes.

"You look miserable. Come on, let's get you back into bed."

With a groan of pain, Maura allowed Jane to help her up from the couch and back into bed. Once she was settled, she hit the morphine button again.

"Can I get you anything before you get really stoned again?" Jane asked.

"Can I have more ice chips? My mouth is still completely parched."

"Of course." Jane fetched another cup of ice chips, sat down beside the bed, and began feeding them to Maura, one by one.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When Maura woke the following morning, she felt a sense of emptiness. It seemed to hit her all at once that donating her kidney wasn't going to change anything. Cailin would still hate her, and she would still be dead to Hope. As much as she tried to tell herself that it wasn't about that, that it was enough to know she had saved a young woman's life, she knew it wasn't true. Yes, she was happy to save Cailin, and maybe she would have done it even if she'd known they would never be grateful. Wasn't that the whole reason she had donated anonymously, had asked Hope not to contact her? But she'd been foolish to think she wouldn't keep hoping they would. She was hoping it right now, even though she knew, deep down, that they would not.

She felt disappointed and betrayed. It was early yet, of course. Cailin was recovering from her own surgery. Perhaps today would be the day when Hope would send some token of her appreciation, some evidence of concern for her firstborn child. But they weren't the ones who had betrayed her. She had betrayed herself, by making an enormous sacrifice for someone who would never have lifted a finger for her. She felt miserably alone.

Then she heard a soft snore and turned her head to see Jane sprawled out on the couch that turned into a bed, her dark curls fanned out on the pillow. One arm dangled off the mattress and her mouth hung open. She looked absolutely beautiful.

Maura started to turn onto her side so she could have a better view of the sleeping Jane, but shifting her position caused her abdomen to explode with pain. She let out a soft cry, and Jane's eyes immediately flew open.

"Maura?" Jane croaked sleepily. "You okay?"

"I'm okay," said Maura. "Just had some pain when I tried to move."

Jane pushed herself up from the couch. "Do you need anything?"

Maura almost said no reflexively, but then she remembered that Jane was there to be her caretaker. "Some water would be nice."

"On it." Jane headed down the hall, her clothes rumpled and her hair flying in every direction, and came back with a fresh pitcher of ice water. She poured some in a cup and handed it to Maura, who drank it down eagerly. She was still a bit parched from yesterday, but this time the water seemed to actually wet her mouth, unlike yesterday when the ice chips seemed to just evaporate and leave her tongue as dry as before.

"Thank you," Maura whispered when she had drained the water.

"Just doing my job. So how are you feeling? Is the pain any better than yesterday?"

"Yes, it's better. I haven't even hit the morphine button."

"Good!" Relief washed over Jane's face, and she leaned forward to tenderly kiss Maura's forehead before sitting back and admiring Maura proudly. Maura looked up at her in awe. _Nobody else loves me this much_ , she thought. _I'm not sure anyone ever has_.

"You sure you're okay?" Jane asked. "You look sad."

Maura looked down. "I'm worried that I haven't heard about Cailin's surgery. What if it didn't go well? What if I end up killing her instead of saving her life?"

"Don't be ridiculous. If it doesn't go well, that isn't your fault. You did more than anyone could reasonably have asked you to do. But I'm sure they just haven't sent word yet because they're giving her some time to recover a little. I'm sure she's feeling a ton better this morning, just like you are." Jane picked up the bedside menu. "They said you could eat food today. Let's get you some breakfast."

They ordered for both of them and ate together while Jane made fun of the morning show people on TV, which got Maura giggling a little. Then her surgeon came by to check on her.

"I just got word from the hospital where the patient who received your kidney is being treated," he told her. "She gave them permission to pass the word along to you that her surgery went wonderfully and she's recovering well."

"Thank you," said Maura. "I'm so relieved."

But when the doctor left, Maura couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked. "That was good news. You were worried about Cailin, and she's doing fine. Soon she'll be _better_ than before, because of you."

"It's just so impersonal," Maura said. "Finding out from the surgeon, I mean. But…it's silly to be upset. I _told_ Hope not to contact me."

"Yeah, well, she didn't have any problem contacting you over and over to pester you for your damn _kidney_. The least she could do now is tell you thanks."

"She thanked me when I agreed to give Cailin my kidney anonymously."

"And then you actually did it, and now she owes you an even bigger thank you. More than that, she should be checking on you to see how you're doing. She should be worried about you. I hate to call your birth mom a bitch, but she's kind of been a bitch about this whole thing, right from the moment she found out you were her daughter. We thought she was such a nice person, and then – Maura, no, why are you crying harder?"

"Because my whole existence was a mistake," Maura sobbed. "Nobody wanted me!"

"Maura, come on, that's not true."

"Yes it is!" Maura sobbed. "My grandfather was going to kill me, my mother was glad when she thought I died and now the only reason she's glad I'm alive is so I can keep her real daughter alive, my brother was smart enough to find me but never even tried, and my sister hates me so much she'd rather die than have my kidney!" Maura completely dissolved in tears, and she let Jane take her in her arms even though it still hurt to move.

For a while, Jane just held her and stroked her hair while she cried. When Maura began to quiet, Jane pulled back and got a tissue, gently wiping her tears away. "You know how you said Casey didn't deserve me?"

Maura looked down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You didn't hurt my feelings. But I'm just saying, your biological family doesn't deserve _you_. Maybe they can't deal with how amazing you are. But you have adoptive parents who do love you. Your mom got hit by a car to protect you. _That's_ what mothers are supposed to do."

"But she hasn't called to check on me either."

"She's probably afraid you're not up to talking. But you know what? That's not the only family you have. You also have a whole pile of Rizzolis who love you to death, I mean Ma says you're like a daughter to her, and I'm pretty sure you're her favorite."

Maura chuckled through her tears. "I'm not."

"I kinda think you are. And you're like another sister to Frankie and Tommy, and an aunt to T.J. We all love you."

"What about you?"

"You know I love you."

"Yes but…I'm like a daughter to your mom, and a sister to your brothers…so what am I to you?"

"My best friend. What do you want me to say, that you're like a sister? We don't fight enough for that."

Maura smiled. "No, we don't."

"You are family to me, but you're kind of… _better_ , than the blood family. I'm glad you're not my blood."

Maura nodded, although she still wasn't sure what Jane meant.

That afternoon, Angela came to visit, bringing a teddy bear Maura wasn't sure what she was going to do with and some fresh baked cookies. They had a lively visit, and the two Rizzoli women helped Maura walk down to the lounge, where she gazed out at the panoramic views of Boston and watched a flock of tree swallows fly by, mesmerized by their large number and the way they twisted and turned as one entity, looking almost like a plume of smoke. The visit left her drained, but in a good way.

Still, when she settled in that night for her last night in the hospital, Jane stretching out on the couch-bed again, she was filled again with that sense of emptiness and betrayal, the feeling that Hope and Cailin still didn't love her, didn't even like her, that they had only wanted to use her.

And she had let them.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Constance called early the next morning, on Jane's phone, wanting to know if Maura was okay. Jane handed the phone over to Maura, who chatted with her briefly, but Constance let her go because she sounded tired.

It was true. Maura was tired, just as much as the previous day, and her big incision was hurting more instead of less. It was weird.

After breakfast a huge bouquet of flowers arrived, and once again Maura's heart leapt, but it turned out to be from the crime lab. They had taken up a collection to send her these. It was very sweet, and she ought to appreciate it, but she still felt disappointed.

Then the nurse came in to check her vitals, and it turned out she had developed a fever.

"I'm just going to have a look at your incisions," the nurse said, lifting Maura's gown and removing her bandages. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I am a bit fatigued," Maura admitted. "And I'm feeling a general sense of malaise this morning."

"The smaller incisions look okay," murmured the nurse. Then she removed the bandage from the biggest incision, the one they had taken her kidney out through, and it was obvious immediately that this one was _not_ okay. The area around it was swollen and red, and pus was oozing out. Maura reached down to touch the skin near the incision, and it felt hot. "I'm going to have a doctor look at this," the nurse said.

"Is it infected?" Jane asked Maura.

"Yes," Maura sighed, feeling deflated. "And I was really looking forward to going home today."

"You can't go home with this?"

"Not until it's cleared up. They'll need to give me different antibiotics."

Jane started pacing. "Post-surgical infections can get pretty serious, can't they? People die from those."

"They can be, but they should be able to take care of it easily enough. It's a greater risk if it appears after the patient has gone home and they don't seek immediate medical care."

"But it could be one of those superbug things, couldn't it?"

"It's possible. They'll most likely culture to pus to find out exactly what kind of bacteria it is so they know how to treat it."

"What if it's antibiotic-resistant?"

"Then they'll use an antibiotic it's not resistant to. They know what they're doing, Jane."

"They'd better," said Jane, sitting down next to the bed with a fierce expression. "I'm not okay with you dying so Cailin can live. That's not a fair trade."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're worth ten of her! If only one of you can live, it should be you! It wouldn't be fair for you to die, you're a much better person than she is!" Jane's voice broke.

"Jane, one person's life isn't worth more than another's."

"Yeah, well, it is to me." She blinked back tears, taking Maura's hand in her own and gripping it tightly.

The on-call doctor believed Maura had a mild form of cellulitis. She took a pus sample to send off for an overnight culture to be sure, but in the meantime, she went ahead and started her on intravenous Ancef.

"You won't be getting out of here today after all," she told Maura apologetically, "but we'll try to get you out in a few days. We just need to clear this up first, and then we can send you home on an oral antibiotic."

"I understand," said Maura, holding tight to Jane's hand.

"We'll get you better as fast as we can," the doctor said sympathetically. "Is there anyone important waiting for you at home?"

Maura nodded sadly. "My tortoise. I hope he's okay. Jane's mother is looking after him, but she doesn't have much experience with tortoise care."

The doctor looked uncertainly at Jane.

"She's serious," Jane assured her. "Enormous tortoise. My mom's been sending pictures." She flashed the latest picture text, which showed Bass chowing down on organic greens.

"Oh, I know how you feel," said the doctor, understanding dawning on her face. "My wife and I have two cats, and they're like children to us." She patted Maura's hand. "At least the most important human in your life is able to be here with you. I'm sure your turtle will be fine."

She turned to leave, and Maura looked at Jane, open-mouthed.

"He's a tortoise!" Jane called after the retreating doctor.

Maura giggled a little. "Mild cellulitis. I'm not dying."

"Well, good. I wouldn't know how to explain it to Bass if you were."

Maura looked down. "I _am_ disappointed that I won't get to go home today."

"I guess it's a good thing I took two weeks off, huh? You might need me longer than you thought."

"I'm glad you're here." She threaded her fingers through Jane's. "Do you think that doctor thought we were a couple?"

Jane shrugged. "She wouldn't be the first. So what can I do to help you survive your extended hospital stay? Do you want me to get you anything from home?"

"I can't think of anything. I just wish I'd known I was going to be here so long. Maybe I would have gotten a wax. I shaved my legs the night before the surgery, but they're getting prickly already."

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Seriously, that's what you're worried about?"

"I can feel the bristles when my legs rub against each other. It's bothering me. I'm not allowed to take a bath yet, and it still hurts too much to bend down."

Jane chuckled. "I'll be back in a few. I'm gonna go check out the drug store downstairs."

"Oh. Okay." Maura picked up her book from the nightstand and tried to read a little while Jane was gone. It was a mystery book, and the plot was good, but she might have preferred it with a female detective. Female detectives were her favorite, especially when they were tall, and had husky voices, and dark, untamed curls. The absolute best detectives were the ones who were fierce and terrifying, except to the people they loved most, the people they would never let anyone hurt.

Her eyes drifted to the window as she thought about her favorite detective, and she saw two black and white birds with bright orange beaks fly by. Then Jane came in with a bag from the drug store.

"I just saw two American oystercatchers!" Maura told her.

"Great. Did they bring us any oysters?"

Maura giggled. "No."

"Damn. Well, I brought you something." She extricated a can of shaving cream and a pack of razors from the bag. "Barber Jane is at your service." She pulled some towels out of the cabinets, turned down the sheets, and slid the towels under Maura's legs.

"You're going to shave my legs?" Maura asked.

"You said the bristles are bothering you. I'm your caretaker; I'll do whatever it takes to make you more comfortable." She started spraying foam on Maura's lower legs.

Maura watched as Jane began shaving her legs, very gently as if afraid of nicking her with the razor. She had to admit, Jane's touch on her bare legs felt nice.

"You know, when I was about eighteen or nineteen, I went through a phase where I didn't shave at all," Jane remarked.

"Why not?"

"I thought I was fighting the patriarchy," Jane chuckled. "I mean, men don't have to shave, so why do we have to? I figured if God wanted women not to have hair on their legs, he'd have made us that way. I stopped wearing a bra for a while too, and I wouldn't put on makeup. I felt like those were all things society made us think we had to do just to make men happy, and I wanted to rebel."

"There are other ways to fight the patriarchy," Maura said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I know, but I was young and just wanted to do something. The only problem is, my hair is dark. See yours is blonde, someone would have to get close to even notice if you weren't shaving. But you could see my leg hair from a mile away, and I knew my mom would flip if she saw I wasn't shaving, so I just had to wear pants all the time, even when it was really hot."

"So no one even knew you were rebelling in that way."

"Nope, it was just for me, until one day when my obnoxious mother walked in on me when I was drying off after a shower. She saw my hairy man legs and demanded to know what the hell was wrong with me, why I was letting myself go. Started going on about how I'd never find a husband if I didn't take better care of myself."

"Did you want to find a husband."

"Nope."

Maura wanted to ask a follow-up question, but she refrained, as she always did. She had wondered, of course. She wondered when Jane rejected every man who showed an interest in her, each for a different reason that never seemed adequate. She had also wondered that time when Jane had remarked that maybe she _should_ be a lesbian. But she felt it would only cause problems if she asked outright. If Jane did have feelings for women, something internal was causing her to feel the need to repress them, and with Jane being Jane, no one could fix that for her. She would deal with it when she was ready, and not a moment sooner.

But since Casey had come along, Maura had been flummoxed. Jane had seemed truly hung up on him. Was she really in love with him, or did he represent something to her? Maura supposed it was better not to speculate.

"So how far up do you want me to go?" Jane asked. "Do you have a hot date tonight?"

Maura bit her lip, wondering if she dared ask for what she really wanted. "I usually go all the way up, whether I have plans or not."

Jane chuckled. "Of course you do. You're so thorough. Fine, if you want to look sexy in your hospital bed, then so be it." She shook the can of shaving cream and sprayed some out on Maura's thigh, pushing up her gown. "I'm always lazy. I only shave what the general public is going to see, unless I have bedroom plans."

"It's a good thing your natural sexiness makes up for your laziness," Maura said with a sleepy smile.

Jane looked at her with raised eyebrows. "I'm glad you think so."

"So how did you decide to start shaving again, when you were younger? Was it because of your mom catching you?"

"Not right away, but I was getting tired of being hairy anyway. Yeah, I guess it wasn't long after that when I started again, but it wasn't because of her. I just decided it was time to end my experiment, and when I started shaving again, it was because I _wanted_ to, not because I felt like I _had_ to, and that made a difference to me."

"You've always been a very independent woman," Maura said, struggling to hold her eyes open. "That's what I love about you. Although I _am_ glad you shave now."

"I hope I didn't gross you out with that story."

"No, I did some rebellious things in college as well."

"Like riding a horse naked?"

"And other things."

"You can tell me all about those after your nap." She grabbed a fresh towel and wiped the remnants of shaving cream off Maura's legs before covering her back up with the blankets. "Now you know you look gorgeous, so you can just sleep and let your body repair itself."

Maura finally let her eyes close. "Jane?" she said softly.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." Maura reached blindly for Jane's hand and found it easily.

"No problem," Jane replied, just as softly.

Just before Maura drifted off, she felt Jane lift her fingers to her lips and kiss them.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Maura's house looked almost foreign to her as they pulled into the driveway. What was meant to be two days in the hospital had turned into five, due to the infection, but it was better now, her fever gone and her incision no longer inflamed. She'd just need to keep taking oral antibiotics for the next week to keep it at bay.

She'd received word from Cailin's hospital that she was still doing well. She had not heard from Hope.

Jane parked the car and walked around to help Maura out of the passenger side. She could get around all right once she was up, but getting up was still painful. The hardest part was just trying to propel herself forward through the cloud of fatigue that couldn't seem to let her go.

She walked into the house and looked around, almost surprised to see everything exactly as she had left it. She went looking for Bass in his indoor enclosure and was pleased to find that Angela had everything set up just as it should be.

"Hi sweetie! Did you miss me?" she crooned, painfully kneeling to stroke his scaly head. He was her oldest friend, after all; it would be disloyal not to greet him, even if it hurt.

Jane helped her back into a standing position. "So what do you want to do? Ma said she put clean sheets on the guest house bed, and she's already moved her stuff up to the guest room for now." It was going to be a few days before Maura would feel up to walking on stairs, so she was going to have to sleep in her own guest house until then. She didn't know why that bothered her – it was actually quite gracious of Angela to give up her home temporarily, and it was certainly necessary in her current condition – but it made her feel like an exile in her own home. No, she wouldn't be going to the guest house until she was ready to turn in for the night.

"I'm going to put some more seed in the bird feeder," she said decisively, heading for the pantry.

"Okay," said Jane, looking nonplussed. "If that's what you want…"

Jane followed while Maura scooped out some birdseed and took it to the backyard, filling up her feeder. Then they went back in and Maura stood by the window, waiting to see if anything would show up to eat it.

"The squirrels have been eating it all winter, but now that more and more birds are coming back, I'm hoping to attract them," Maura explained. "I always put out the best variety of premium birdseed I can find."

"Well of course, you don't want them going to those _other_ feeders," said Jane. "I'm sure it's all over the bird community that Chez Isles is the classiest restaurant in town."

Maura giggled, and then she drew in her breath. "Look, I have a customer already! A common grackle!"

"The bird with the shiny green head is called a grackle?"

"Yes. They're found all around North America east of the Rocky Mountains."

"Hmmm." Jane looked at the grackle thoughtfully. "I think I'll call him Graham."

"Graham?"

"Yeah. Graham the grackle." Jane looked at her and shrugged. "If you're gonna keep showing me birds, I'm going to start naming them."

Maura looked at her, a smile tugging at her lips. "When more grackles come, how will you know which one is Graham?"

"I'll just call them all Graham."

Chuckling, Maura turned and headed for the couch.

She spent most of the day dozing on and off on the couch while Jane watched TV. They went for a walk around the block in the afternoon, just because Maura was supposed to keep moving, but it completely drained her. When Angela got home from work, she cooked a lasagna dinner for the three of them, and Maura enjoyed eating at her own table again. Sitting up so long was exhausting, though, so afterwards she retired to the guest house, where she showered and went straight to bed. Jane changed into her pajamas and got into bed beside her, Jo Friday settling in by their feet.

"You know you don't have to sleep out here," Maura said. "You can sleep in my bed."

"And leave you all alone in the guest house? I don't think so."

Maura smiled. It was futile to argue, and she didn't want Jane to leave. She just wanted to make sure Jane didn't feel obligated to be here.

Maura's phone chimed, and she picked it up from the nightstand. "Oh, it's Susie."

"She checking in on you?"

"I asked her earlier if she could find anything about Cailin on social media."

Jane looked at her.

"What? I'm not going to get any more updates from the hospital, and I want to see how she's doing. I've been through a lot the past few days, and I just want to know it was worth it."

"Fine, as long as you understand it's not your fault if she goes into rejection."

"I know, although I would feel bad." She looked at the message from Susie. "She found a page for Cailin on a website called Caring Bridge that's been talking about the transplant process."

"Is it public?"

"Yes. I'm looking at it now."

"So, how's she doing?"

"Really well, from the looks of things. She posted this morning. She says she's recovering well and she expects to go home within the next few days."

"That's great! See, I told you your kidney had to be, like, the best on the market. If she can't get better with that kidney, there's just no helping her."

"The last few posts before that one are from Hope. She was posting when Cailin wasn't up to it. Here's a post from the day of the surgery." Maura fell silent as she read. Then tears welled up in her eyes and she had to swallow down the lump in her throat.

"What's wrong?" asked Jane. Maura wordlessly handed her phone over, and Jane began to read out loud. "'Today's the day – Cailin is getting her new kidney, thanks to an anonymous donor. She's in surgery as we speak. Words cannot describe how grateful I am to see my daughter get this new chance at life. Over the past few months, I have been terrified that a kidney wouldn't come in time and that I would lose her. As many of you know, I lost a baby girl years ago, and I don't think the death of a child is something I could ever go through again. Thanks to this donor, I don't have to. Cailin is my only child and my world.'"

"She's still telling people I'm dead," Maura sniffled.

"Oh, honey…I'm sure…maybe she just doesn't know how to tell people you're not? I mean, she was never secretive about having a baby who died, she told you the day she met you, and she didn't know that you _were_ the baby. Maybe she's just not sure how to tell everyone she's wrong, especially since you two don't really have a relationship."

"That's just it. She never plans on having a relationship with me. If she did, she'd have to tell people I didn't die, and that would be awkward."

"There's no way she's rejecting you as her daughter to avoid an awkward moment with her friends. No one is _that_ big of a bitch."

"Then why is she doing it?" Maura lifted her head from her pillow and looked at Jane, her eyes wide and glittering with unshed tears. "I never asked anything from her. I didn't really expect her to treat me like a daughter after all these years. I just thought she might want to know me, but she seems to prefer to go on imagining I died at birth. It's like I came into her life to give Cailin a kidney, and that's it. I'm not good for anything else."

Jane pressed her lips together like she was biting back what she really wanted to say. She took Maura's face in her hands. "Well you know what? You don't need her. You don't need any of them. Fuck 'em."

"I don't know why I thought she'd feel differently after I gave my kidney to Cailin," Maura said, struggling to swallow down her tears. She was so tired of crying over this. "I just thought…she'd see I'm a good person, not like Paddy…I thought maybe she'd want me in her life when she saw that…"

"Maura. Listen to me. You don't need her. You have me, okay? You're good enough for me. You're more than good enough. Stop wasting your energy on people who can't see you for who you are."

"But what if I don't always have you?"

Jane gaped at her. "Maura, of course you will! What would make you think that you won't?"

"People leave," Maura said softly. "They always leave. They get tired of me, and—"

"I'm the only best friend you've ever had, right?"

"Yes."

"Has anyone ever known you better than I do?"

Maura slowly shook her head. Even her parents didn't know her like Jane did. Even Ian never had.

"Has anyone else even known you as well as I do?"

"No."

"But I'm not sick of you. I will _never_ be sick of you. I can't imagine my life without you. Maybe those other people just didn't know you well enough."

Maura tried to believe her. "But if you get married or something, you won't have time for me anymore."

"What makes you think I'm going to do that? You _have_ met me, right?"

"You love Casey. If he gets better—"

"Is that why you're so stuck on Casey? You think he's going to take me away from you?" She wiped a stray tear from Maura's cheek with her thumb. "That won't happen, okay? I don't even know Casey well enough to love him. It was something that maybe could have been, you know? But it was never going to keep me from being there for you. Anyway, what if _you_ get married? You'd still be there for me, right?"

"Yes, but I don't think I'm going to. I'm scared to even go on a date now, after Dennis."

"Oh, Maura. I'm not gonna let that happen to you again, okay?"

Maura looked away. "I'm just scared to do anything right now. Everything I do feels like a mistake."

"Come here." Jane pulled Maura into her arms, and Maura lay her tired head on Jane's chest, listening to the sound of her heartbeat, the air whooshing in and out of strong lungs. As Jane's arms wrapped tightly around her, Maura felt her muscles slowly relax, her body accepting the comfort her friend offered. "You were so brave to do what you did," Jane whispered, kissing the top of Maura's head.

"So why does it feel like anything I did would have been wrong?"

"Because you want Hope and Cailin to confirm that you did the right thing, and they're not going to. And that's not because what you did wasn't right. I think whatever you did would have been the right thing. But some people, you can't get them to see that. You have to learn how to live without the approval of some people."

Maura felt a tear fall and watched it absorb into Jane's shirt. "It's just hard when the people not approving of you are your family."

Jane hugged her tighter. "I'm your family now. You don't need any of them."

Maura closed her eyes and felt her head slowly going up and down with Jane's breathing. She was surrounded by Jane's warmth, her strength, her steadfastness. In that moment, she felt truly loved. She felt like this, just this, was enough.

"Jane," she said suddenly.

"Yeah?"

What was she going to say? No, she knew what, but she wasn't sure she could say it. She couldn't take the risk of scaring Jane away, especially not now. "Just…don't leave."

Jane ran a hand over Maura's hair. "I won't move a muscle," she said. "I promise."

 **AN: Thanks everyone for all the reviews and follow! Only a couple chapters left in this one. If you need something to read while you're waiting for the next chapter, my book Out of the Shadows is currently half price on Kindle in ALL countries! Find the link in my profile, or go to Amazon and look up Out of the Shadows: A Detective Amy Sadler Mystery by Michelle Arnold!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Days and then weeks passed. Maura finished her antibiotics and weaned herself off her pain medication with no problems, but getting her strength back was taking a frustratingly long time. It was particularly hard when Jane went back to work, leaving Maura home alone for hours at a time, trying not to let her thoughts eat away at her. Although Cailin's Caring Bridge page said she was still recovering nicely, Hope had still made no effort to thank Maura or check in on her, and there was no reason now to think she would.

Jane was worried about her. She'd call to check on her whenever there was a slow moment at work, and she came home for lunch, bringing takeout from the Dirty Robber or the Division One Café, whenever she could. She left Jo Friday at Maura's when she went to work so they'd both have the company, and at night she'd often make excuses for staying, perhaps "accidentally" falling asleep on the couch or in Maura's bed. Maura certainly wasn't going to complain – she adored having Jane with her – but at the same time, she didn't want Jane to feel like she couldn't handle being alone.

"She's depressed," Jane told the doctor at Maura's six-week follow-up appointment, which the detective had insisted on coming to. "She's lethargic, she's not sleeping well, and she's just sad."

"Depression is very common in living donors," he said matter-of-factly. "Many donors feel a sense of mourning for the body part they've lost, and often the pain and fatigue are worse than they expect. It's hard to go through surgery when you felt fine before."

"She _was_ fine before," said Jane in disgust. "It would help if her family would show some gratitude."

"Abandonment is another common feeling after kidney donation," the doctor told her. "I've had patients before donate to relatives and feel disappointed that everyone was more concerned for the recipient's health than for theirs."

"It's a little more complicated in my case," said Maura with a sigh. "I'm adopted, and I was hoping to get to know my birth family, but it turns out they only wanted me for my kidney. I'm still glad I did it, though."

"It'd still be nice to get the proper appreciation," grumbled Jane.

"Well, you can't control the actions of others, so you need to focus on taking care of yourself," the doctor said. "You need to stay active. Are you still going for walks every day?"

"Yes," Maura assured him.

"Good. Keep doing that. You should be able to get back to most of your regular activities now, as your body allows. Don't push yourself too hard, but regular workouts should help you to feel better both physically and emotionally. And talk freely about your feelings to the people in your support circle. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Maura nodded reluctantly. "Okay."

He closed his laptop. "You shouldn't need to see me again unless a problem develops, but follow-up with your primary care doctor in a month or so, and then every twelve months afterwards, for tests to make sure your remaining kidney is functioning as it should."

"Is that for the rest of her life?" Jane asked.

"It's recommended for all patients with only one kidney."

Jane rubbed her face. "What happens if that kidney ever stops functioning properly?"

"Then she will be put on a transplant list. Living donors who need transplants are typically moved up the list."

"So it happens. Sometimes people end up needing transplants themselves after they donate."

"Yes. It's not common, but it does happen."

Jane set her mouth in a line, her eyes hardening.

They walked home from Massachusetts General, as it was just a short walk, and Maura needed the exercise. She had grown accustomed to leaning on Jane when they went for their walks right after her surgery, and she found herself still reflexively reaching for Jane's hand. Jane never pushed her away, never asked any questions. She just held on.

"Can you check and see if I'm a match for you?" Jane asked as they walked.

"A match?"

"Yeah, for your kidney. In case the one you've got left ever craps out."

"It's not likely to happen."

"Yeah, but if it does, I'd feel better knowing that I can just give you one instead of you having to go on a list. We already know you don't have any family who can do it."

"I have your DNA profile on file. If it makes you feel better, I can look."

"It'll only make me feel better if we _are_ a match, but please look."

"I'll be back at work Monday. I'll look then." She squeezed Jane's hand.

"I just can't stand the thought of you dying because you did something selfless for your ungrateful sister. I'd do it for you. You _deserve_ it."

"Everyone deserves a chance to do something with their life."

"Not with _your_ kidney they don't."

Maura paused and looked up at a flock of birds going by. "I think those are goldfinches," she said.

Jane looked. "How can you tell? They're so far away."

"Goldfinches have a distinctive flight pattern. They appear to bounce when they fly as a result of holding their wings against their bodies in between flapping them."

"Ah," said Jane. "Well, that reminds me. I got you a present."

"A present? What for?"

"A get well present. I know it's kind of late, but I realized other people sent you stuff, and I never got you anything."

"That's not true. You took care of me. That was your present. And I know you were behind those fudge clusters BPD sent!"

"Yeah, but that's not the same. I want to give you something that's just from me."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Just wait."

When they got back to the house, Jane unlocked the trunk of her car and pulled out a box. "It's an oriole feeder," she said. "You put fruits or jelly on it, and it's supposed to attract orioles."

Maura took the box from Jane, inspecting what was clearly a very high-quality feeder. It couldn't have been cheap. "Oh, Jane. Thank you! I've never seen an oriole in Boston before. They normally prefer wooded areas."

"Well, maybe this will attract some. I went into the store and asked if there were any special feeders that could attract unusual types of birds, and this is what they showed me."

"I hope it works. Orioles are beautiful."

"Yeah, well, I don't know why you've been so fixated on birds lately, but if birds make you happy, then I'm gonna get you some more birds."

Maura put the box down and wordlessly threw her arms around Jane.

"Hey, it's just a birdfeeder, nothing that special," Jane chuckled.

"Yes it is! It's the most thoughtful thing anyone's done for me in a long time….other than all the other thoughtful things you've been doing."

"Yeah, well, like I said, you deserve it," said Jane. "So you wanna set it up?"

They put the feeder up near a window so Maura could see the birds if they did arrive, and they put some orange slices and grape jelly on it to hopefully attract them. Then they went in and made supper together, Jane cooking spaghetti while Maura made salad and garlic bread. It felt like normal. For a little while, Maura was able to forget about her feelings of depression and hopelessness.

"So you still haven't heard about Casey's surgery?" Maura asked while they were cleaning up after dinner.

"Nope. All I know is that he must have lived through it, because I'd have heard if he'd died. It would be all over the old neighborhood."

"He's probably going through some intense physical therapy." Maura rinsed out her spaghetti bowl and put it into the dishwasher.

"I'm sure he is. I'm not really thinking about him much, to tell the truth. He's not part of my life. He never really was. I hope his surgery went well, for his sake, but it's nothing to do with me. I just don't think it was meant to be."

"Oh, Jane. I'm sorry."

"Are you? You told me you didn't like him."

Maura felt her cheeks redden. "I'm still sorry you didn't get what you wanted."

"I wasn't sure what I wanted. It's fine. I'm happier when I'm not wondering when he'll call me next." Jane put her fork in the dishwasher and crossed to the living room, collapsing onto the couch.

"I understand that feeling. That was how it got to be with Ian." Maura closed the dishwasher door and followed Jane into the living room. "I've given up on looking for the right man. I don't think he's out there."

"Oh, Maura—"

"No. Don't say it. Every man I've been seriously involved with either hasn't cared as much about me as I did about him, or turned out to be a killer. I've dated killers twice now!" She sank wearily onto the couch beside Jane.

"That could happen to anyone," Jane insisted.

"It could, but it doesn't. And, honestly, my gut told me to stay away from Dennis, but I was so desperate for someone to love me, really love me, that I bought his little story about how he felt things for me he'd never felt before. I can't believe how naïve I was."

"Maura, you've never believed in listening to your gut."

"Not at work, but in romantic situations, I probably should."

Jane nodded. "Yeah, I get that."

"I think it's time to just accept that love and marriage aren't going to be part of my life."

Jane looked at her thoughtfully, biting her lip. "Have you ever considered the possibility that the right person might be out there, but that it isn't a man?"

Maura froze and looked at her very carefully. "Yes," she admitted. "I've thought about that a lot."

"Okay," said Jane. "So if you found out someone did love you, very much, exactly as you are, but that person was a woman…"

Maura swallowed. "It would depend on who the person was."

Jane looked at her, eyes glistening. "If it was me?"

In answer, Maura scooted closer, heart pounding, and put her hand on the back of Jane's head, drawing the detective's face down towards her own. When their lips met, Maura felt a burst of something inside of her, something that said she was finally on the right path after weeks of feeling like everything was wrong. This was right. This was what she needed to do. She could do this, happily, forever.

Jane's arms moved around Maura's body, pulling her close. It felt familiar, because it was. This was how Jane held her when she cried, when she was weary. Jane had been holding her like a lover for some time, and Maura simply hadn't realized it. Maura let Jane deepen the kiss, let herself get lost in the feeling of finally knowing what her future held. Or did she know?

Maura pulled back, looking at Jane uncertainly.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked. "I liked where that was going."

"I did too, but Jane…" She pulled her hands back and began fidgeting with the ring she was wearing. "I've had my heart broken before, but I'm not sure I could handle losing you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't think…I don't think I can do this, unless it's expected to be…permanent."

Jane nodded. "I don't think I can either. But Maura, I love you more than anything in this world. I would risk everything for you. I just want to be the one who makes you happy. If we start this, I'm not going to be the one who ends it. I will stay with you forever if that's what you want, because you're the love of my life. It's always been you." She cupped Maura's face in her hands.

"I want to believe you," whispered Maura. "But…"

"I know. Other people have abandoned you before. People you should have been able to trust have used you, abused you, pushed you away…but when have I?"

"Never," Maura admitted.

"If you want this, I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel secure. I'll take you to the town hall and marry you right now, if that's what you want."

Maura broke into a grin at the thought of doing something so drastic. "No."

"No?"

"No, that's not what I want."

"Okay. So…"

"If we're going to do this, we're going to do it the right way. We're going to have a relationship, and if you want to marry me, you're going to propose properly."

Jane raised her eyebrows, but her lips began to curl into a smile.

"And you're going to do it when I least expect it," Maura continued.

"Got it."

"And it's going to be really romantic."

"Okay. I can do that."

"Unless I propose first, of course."

"No, you're the one who likes rings and all that romantic crap. Let me have this one."

Maura smiled. She _had_ always dreamed of being proposed to, in some romantic and surprising way. "Okay, I'll leave it to you."

"Thanks. But since I can't do it yet, what can I do to make you feel confident that I'm not going to abandon you?"

Maura thought it over, and she came to a conclusion. "You don't need to do anything. I trust you."

"Really?"

Maura nodded. "I think you've already proven yourself. You've always been there for me, even when no one else has. You've killed for me before, and you've come close to dying for me. I think if there's anyone in this world I can trust, it's you."

Jane broke into a grin. "I hoped you'd finally see that."

Maura kissed her. "I love you so much. I have for a long time. I just…didn't think you'd feel the same way, especially with Casey."

Jane smiled sadly. "I've known I loved you since the night I ran to your house the night Hoyt escaped from prison. But like you, I didn't think you could feel the same way. That was why I wanted something to happen with Casey, so I could maybe redirect my romantic feelings, keep them from messing up our friendship."

"So if he called now?"

"I'd tell him he's too late. I found someone way hotter."

Maura grinned. It was her biggest smile since before the surgery.

"When you had that infection," Jane said, "it scared me. It wasn't the first time I'd ever worried I might lose you, but it was the first time that I felt afraid you would die without knowing how loved you were. You were feeling sad and rejected and unloved, and I just…you _are_ loved, Maura. I can't control what other people do, but I love you more than anything in the world, and I would do anything to make you happy. I just want you to forget those other fuckers and just…let me make you happy."

"I would like that," Maura said softly, leaning her forehead against Jane's.

"Yeah?" Jane stroked her face, staring intensely into Maura's eyes. "Will you…will you let me make love to you? It's okay if you don't want to, but I just, I want you to feel—"

Maura cut her off with a forceful kiss that sucked the air right out of her lungs. Jane leaned back against the couch, her hands sliding down onto Maura's rear end as the blonde landed partly on top of her.

"I take that as a yes?" Jane said when Maura finally came up for air.

Maura smiled breathlessly. "Definitely. I need this."

Jane gazed up at her, chest still heaving. "I think I do too."

"Just…I have some pretty fresh scars…"

Jane gave her a kiss. "Scars don't bother me. Come on, I'll show you just how beautiful you really are."

Jane took Maura's hand and led her upstairs to her bedroom. Maura felt goosebumps popping up in anticipation, unable to believe that this was finally, really happening.

What followed was the most beautiful experience of Maura's life so far. She'd had passionate sex before, and she'd had tender sex before, but never before had she felt so completely _cherished_. Jane's loving caresses and sweet kisses made every inch of her feel alive, adored. It made her feel whole again.

They made love well into the night, Jane's deft fingers and tongue bringing Maura sweet release time and again, while Maura herself enjoyed finally getting to explore the olive skin she had often dreamed about over the last few years. She learned how Jane liked to be touched, exactly what she needed to do to make a string of ecstatic profanities come tumbling hoarsely out of the brunette's mouth.

Finally they lay exhausted in a tumble of sheets, both struggling to regain their breath after bringing each other to yet another climax.

"I think," Jane said, her chest heaving, "we should have tried this a long time ago."

Maura grinned. "I think it happened at just the right time."

"Yeah, I guess." Jane's fingers lightly traced shapes on Maura's abdomen, skirting around her still-tender surgery scars. "You feeling any better?"

Maura pondered that. "I'm still disappointed about the way things have worked out with Hope and Cailin," she admitted.

"Understandably."

"But…I have something to be excited about now." She turned her head towards Jane and smiled at her. "I've wanted this for a while."

"I wish I'd known. But, I'll make it up to you now. I'm going to treat you so well, you'll forget all about those fuckers who can't see what you're worth."

"I think we're going to have a beautiful relationship." She lifted Jane's hand and kissed it.

"We will. I know we will."

Maura grinned wickedly. "And I can't _wait_ to see the romantic proposal you come up with."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Maura never did get that well-deserved fruit basket from Hope and Cailin, but she did get to see the look on Casey's face when Jane told him he was too late.

Three months had passed since Maura's surgery, and she was almost back to normal. She and Jane had started running together again, although Maura was struggling to keep up. They had also started the slow process of moving Jane's belongings to Maura's house. Her building was converting from rental apartments to condominiums, and she'd been given the option to buy her unit, but had declined. They still had a few months until her lease ran out, however, and Maura was enjoying spending some time at the apartment while she still could. She was ecstatic to have Jane moving in with her, but she had a lot of good memories in this apartment, and she would miss it.

One evening they decided to run to Jane's place after work, where they would shower, eat, pack up more of Jane's things, and then spend another blissful night together. Maura felt a rush of anticipation when she saw Jane's familiar building come into view, thinking about that upcoming shower, and then she noticed a shadowy figure on the front steps of the building. A man.

Maura began searching through her pockets. "I don't know what I did with my pepper spray," she said.

"I knew I should have brought my gun," said Jane, stepping forward cautiously, making sure Maura stayed behind her. Suddenly she turned back. "It's Casey!" she hissed.

Maura stared at her through the darkness. "What do we do?" she whispered back.

"We could run back to the station and drive to your house."

"But Jo Friday's in there, she needs to be walked!"

"Hey there." It was too late anyway; Casey had noticed them.

Jane closed her eyes and turned to face him. "Hi."

"I called the station. They, uh, they said you were on your way home."

"Yeah. So, what are you doing here?"

Casey explained that he had been misdiagnosed with cauda equina syndrome and that he had had a piece of shrapnel removed from his spine. He was now walking again, with the help of thermo-plastic braces. Maura couldn't help wondering about his sexual function, if he had come here expecting to whisk Jane off to the bedroom, but she decided it didn't matter. He wasn't going to get the chance.

Still, she couldn't help glancing nervously at Jane, a tiny piece of her still worried that it was Casey she loved, that she would toss Maura aside now that he had returned, the same way other people had tossed her aside when they no longer had a use for her.

Jane seemed to sense her fears and slipped an arm around her waist. "Well, it's good to see you're better," she told Casey. "We need to walk Jo Friday."

He nodded, glancing uneasily at Maura. "Listen, I know it's been a while, but I was hoping I could talk to you...privately."

"Do you want me to go in?" Maura asked Jane.

Jane shook her head. "No, you stay." She pulled Maura closer against her, looking back at Casey. "It _has_ been a while," she acknowledged. "A lot's changed for me since we last talked."

He nodded. "I guess I should have expected that."

"I'm happy you're better, I really am, but if you think something's going to happen between us now…I'm sorry, but I'm already involved with someone special."

Maura leaned closer to Jane, unable to stop herself from smiling. Casey stared at them, his jaw working.

"You're involved with…with Maura? Your best friend?"

"My best friend, yes. I'm very much in love with her."

"But…I didn't think…she's a woman."

"Yeah, I noticed," said Jane.

Maura couldn't help giggling. It would have been impossible for her _not_ to notice, considering how intimately familiar she was with Maura's female parts.

"Is this a joke?" Casey demanded. "You're mad I pushed you away, so you're punishing me by getting involved with a woman?"

"No, no, not a joke," Jane assured him. "I love Maura. I'm happy with her. I'm actually in the process of moving in with her."

"But you're not a lesbian."

She smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I led you to believe otherwise. This is who I am. You and me, we never could have worked out."

"But…you were the one thought that kept me going all these months, after my surgery. I believed—"

"You were wrong to believe that she would keep waiting for you forever," Maura told him. "You were never really there for her. You just assumed she would always be waiting when you came back."

"You stay out of this," Casey barked at her.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that!" Jane snapped, advancing on him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I misspoke. But Jane, we really had something together. We had a connection."

"Not like what me and Maura have," Jane said. "Now if you'll excuse us, we've been running, and we need to go in and take a shower."

Casey stared at them, dumbfounded, but he finally stepped aside. Maura couldn't resist flashing him a smug smile as she walked into the building with Jane. She knew they would enjoy that shower.

~R&I~

On the day they brought the last few boxes of Jane's things to Maura's house, Maura looked outside to see two orange and black birds on the feeder Jane had given her. She gasped.

"Jane!" she said in a hushed voice. "There are Baltimore orioles outside!"

"Baseball players? In your garden?"

"No, silly, the birds! The ones we've been trying to attract!"

Jane looked. "Those are the birds the feeders are for?"

"Yes! Aren't they beautiful? I've never seen them in the city before."

Jane put her arms around Maura from behind. "Yeah, they're cute," she admitted. "But you'd better warn them this is Red Sox territory."

~R&I~

On Maura's birthday, Jane took her on an outing to the Boston Nature Center & Wildlife Sanctuary so she could get some birdwatching in before the birds started to leave for fall. Maura was thrilled. She loved going on nature walks, and she knew it wasn't usually Jane's cup of tea, but she still enjoyed everything more when Jane was at her side. Jane was definitely indulging her.

"This isn't just a birdwatching mission," Jane informed her as they got out of the car, Maura adjusting her binoculars. "It's also a scavenger hunt."

"A scavenger hunt?"

"Yes. Your presents are all here already, but you have to find them."

Maura looked around. "But how can they be here?"

"You'll see," said Jane, handing her a little card. "Here's your first clue."

Maura looked at the card, which just had a picture of a rabbit on it. Then she consulted her map. "The Rabbit Trail!" she said excitedly, before setting off down the trail, Jane following with a sly smile.

Maura led Jane through a field and a wet meadow, pausing to look for animals in the bushes and getting excited when she spotted a scarlet tanager. Jane humored her, looking through her binoculars at the bird and telling her it really was pretty. She had her cell phone out, and Maura posed for her in different spots so Jane could take her picture. She was very surprised when she came around a bend in the trail and found Frankie standing by the community gardens.

"Frankie!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Jane wanted me to give you this," he said, handing her a small, wrapped package. "Happy birthday, Maura." He gave her a hug and walked off.

"Well that was unusual," said Maura.

"It's all part of the plan," said Jane. "Open it."

Maura opened it and found a pair of white gold earrings in the shape of feathers, encrusted with tiny diamonds. "Oh, Jane," she said. "They're beautiful!"

"I know," said Jane. "They're perfect for you."

"Thank you!" Maura kissed her.

"Here, why don't you go ahead and put them on?"

"They're a bit fancy for hiking in."

"That's okay. _You're_ fancy."

"Well, all right." Maura took off the earrings she was already wearing and tucked them into her bag before putting on the new feather earrings."

"You look gorgeous!" said Jane. "Now if you look in the box, you should find your next clue."

Maura checked under where the earrings had been and found a little card with a picture of a snail on it. Grinning at Jane, she hurried off to the Snail Trail.

They wandered around through trees and meadows, spotting a northern parula and a bay-breasted warbler, before finding Angela near some bird feeders. Maura lit up at the sight of her.

"Maura, sweetheart, happy birthday!" Angela said, wrapping her in a warm embrace and kissing her cheek.

"Thank you, Angela," Maura said, surprised that the older woman was making such a big deal.

"Oh, Janie," said Angela, giving her daughter a hug next, even though it wasn't her birthday.

"Ma, just give her the present," Jane hissed.

"Okay, fine." Angela handed a wrapped package to Maura. "I love you so much, Maura dear," she said, teary-eyed.

"Thanks," said Maura, taken aback. "I love you too, Angela."

She opened the present to reveal a necklace that matched the earrings: white gold, its pendant a diamond-encrusted feather joined to a cultured pearl. It was exquisite.

"Oh, Jane, it's so beautiful!" Maura said.

"Here, I'll put it on you," said Jane.

"Oh, you two look so perfect together!" gushed Angela, clasping her hands in glee.

"Okay Ma, thanks for your help, your part is done now," said Jane through her teeth. "I'll see you at dinner tonight."

"Okay," said Angela reluctantly. "I'll go bake your cake, Maura." She kissed Maura's cheek again and hurried off towards the parking lot.

"Well that was odd," said Maura.

"You know my mom, she's an odd bird." Jane chuckled a little. "Get it?"

Maura laughed. "Yes, I get it." She looked inside the box for her next clue and found it: a picture of a playground. "Oh, there is a playground nearby!" she said, consulting her map. "The Nature Nook! Let's go!"

She led Jane off the trail to the natural playscape for children, where they found Tommy pushing baby T.J. around in his stroller.

"Hey, Maura!" he said when he saw her. "Happy birthday!" He handed her another small, wrapped package, which Maura eagerly opened. Inside she found a beautiful, delicate bracelet that, like the other pieces, featured a diamond-encrusted feather.

"Oh Jane, you got me the whole set!" Maura breathed, slipping the bracelet onto her wrist. "I love it!"

"I need to get T.J. home for lunch," said Tommy, "but I'll see you tonight, Maura."

Maura looked for her clue and found a picture of a fox. "That means the Fox Trail!" she said. "I wonder who will be waiting there?"

"Hmm, you'll find out," said Jane. "They'll be on the overlook at the wetlands, but we don't have to hurry. You can look around as much as you want."

"I hate to keep anyone waiting," Maura said nercously.

"Don't worry, they won't get there until you do. Let's find some birds."

This trail was longer than the others. They wandered through fields and woods, past Canterbury Brook, and around the wetlands until they came to the lookout. There was nobody there.

"I guess we're early after all," said Maura, walking out onto the lookout. It was very peaceful out here. She picked up her binoculars and began looking around for birds. She spotted an eastern kingbird and a red-winged blackbird in the distance, and she saw some egrets walking through the wetlands. She turned to Jane. "Are you sure the person's coming?"

"Oh, that's right," said Jane. " _I'm_ the one who has your final present!"

"Jane!" Maura laughed, slapping her playfully. "You kept me waiting all this time?"

"I wanted you to enjoy your birds first," Jane shrugged. "Okay, fine. I'll get your present." She pulled a very small box out of her pocket. This one wasn't wrapped. Maura stared as the detective went down on one knee right there on the boardwalk in the middle of the wetlands and cracked open the box to reveal a ring that matched all the other jewelry, with its little diamond-covered feather supporting a larger center diamond.

"Oh, Jane," she breathed.

"Maura Isles," Jane began. "As you know, I love you more than anything in this whole world. I would do anything for you, so if you're going to turn into a bird and fly away, then I want to fly with you. I want to go everywhere with you, to be wherever you are, for the rest of my life. So, will you be my wife?"

"Yes!" cried Maura, clasping her hands very much the way Angela had been doing earlier. "Oh, Jane, of course! I would love to be your wife!"

She was already wearing the earrings, the necklace, and the bracelet – all of which, she realized, would look perfect with her wedding dress. Now Jane slid the ring onto her finger, completing the set. Then she stood and embraced her new fiancée, giving her a long, slow kiss.

"Was that proposal romantic enough?" she murmured when the kiss finally broke, still holding Maura close to her.

"Yes," Maura said softly, breaking into a smile. "Oh, Jane, it was perfect."

THE END

 **Author's note: Thanks everyone for all the follows and reviews! So happy you enjoyed this little story! I have some more stories planned, and they will be longer, so make sure you put me on follow so you can see when I post them! If you don't have a fanfiction account, it's free to get one, and you'll never miss out on anything again! Plus I can actually respond to your questions, which I can't when you review as a guest.**

 **And while you're waiting for my next fanfic...today (June 12) is my birthday, and I'm celebrating by offering my book Out of the Shadows at half-price on Kindle (in all countries) and its sequel, Beloved Wife, is FREE on Kindle today (in some countries, Kindle's fault, not mine)! Links are in my profile, and you can always PM me if you're having trouble finding what you need.**

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